Self-Talk

As I am preparing myself for my internship starting Tuesday, I am becoming increasingly nervous. I'm only a sophomore. My previous newspaper experience includes one semester at my college newspaper. I've taken like 4 journalism classes. And yet, by God's grace alone, I am interning at the Washington Examiner in DC this semester. 

I will be working with professionals who have been in this business for years. People I interview will not know I'm an intern. People who read my work will have their expectations set just as high for me as they do for everyone else working with me. 

When I dwell on this, I get down easily. I am scared. A very small part of me says, "What are you doing?! Back out before it's too late and you embarrass yourself! You are not worthy of this opportunity."

I am not just an intern though. I am a child of God, and He has put me here for a reason. Whether it be for a great learning experience, a spiritual challenge, a chance to make connections, or a challenge to continually follow His calling in my life, I am entirely confident He has me here for a reason. A good one, at that. 

Ok. So I may not be the most prepared intern to ever walk into that office - by worldly standards - but what is a worldly standard when compared to what God has planned for my life? That's what I thought. Nothing. 

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. - Philippians 4:8

WJC and ASP people, this blog is especially for you, but it can apply to any situation any day.  Here is an excerpt from my devotional that was incredibly encouraging. It is parts of a quote by Dr. D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones:

I say that we must talk to ourselves instead of allowing "ourselves" to talk to us... Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself? Now the psalmist's treatment was this; instead of allowing this self to talk to him, he starts talking to himself. "Why art thou cast down, O my soul?" he asks. His soul has been depressing him, crushing him... Then you must go on to remind yourself of God, Who He is, and what God has done... End on a great note: defy yourself, and defy other people, and defy the devil and the whole world, and say with this man: "I shall praise Him for the help of His countenance."

 So this is my challenge to you - and to myself: Instead of allowing condemning and worrying self to speak to you, think God's thoughts to yourself as you go throughout your day. You should have a much clearer mind about things!

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ - 2 Corinthians 10:4-5.

Alberta Jones

For the first couple weeks at the Washington Journalism Center in DC, we have been doing service learning projects around the city. 

My group has been going to SOME (So Others Might Eat) Dwelling Place in Anacostia - one of the rougher areas in DC. This particular location of SOME focuses on the the poor population that is 65 years old and up.

For those of you who know me, this is right up my alley. Elderly folks – I love 'em! Anyway, yesterday was really the first time I got to interact with some of the seniors on a more personal level, and it was a lot of fun. 

One woman, in particular, was a real joy to talk to. Of course, there is a lot more to her story than I could get down on paper, but she truly is and extraordinary individual!

Here she is: Mrs. Alberta Jones.

Alberta Jones has been a miracle since the day she was born. Being born premature with an "enlarged and leaky" heart in the 1920s was the first of many hurdles.

Every birthday was a victory - two, seven, 16, 30. Doctors told her throughout her life she wouldn't live to see another year.

Now, at 85 years old, Alberta Jones looks back at her life with a great sense of accomplishment.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound!

Michael and I are going through a devotional book this semester, and this week’s topic is grace. Each day discusses a different aspect. Needless to say, I’ve been thinking about just how amazing God’s grace truly is. Who am I to deserve abundant blessings and eternal life from a perfect God? With as much as I sin every day, I deserve nothing.

“From God’s perspective, we are all a common criminal. We have stolen the goods from Him by choosing to break His commandments. The Bible says we are all sinners and fall short of God’s standard of righteousness—that being 100 percent perfection… If God’s requirement for acceptance is perfection, how on earth can anybody pass the test? God’s answer is Jesus Christ… God treated Jesus Christ as if He had lived our lives do that He might treat us as if we had lived His life.”

Wow. I cannot imagine Jesus taking on God’s wrath as a result of my sins, much less that of the entire world. That is the epitome of grace! I know grace is talked about consistently talked about—at least at APU and the Christian world—but I don’t think it should ever stop. For whatever reason, we forget the wonder of it too easily!

Strive for excellence, not perfection

Maybe it’s my first-born syndrome, or just my type-A personality, or a combination of the two, but when I can’t do something perfectly, it drives me wacky. I can usually convince myself that it’s ok—I don’t have to do everything perfectly all the time, but the problem still exists. Last semester, God really used people to teach me my value to God. He has me where I’m at for a reason, flaws and all. His grace is such a beautiful thing, because I know I am far from it.

God’s grace is not an excuse to sin. It would be easy to say, “Well, God is merciful and gives His grace willingly, so I’m going to go ahead and keep doing things I know I shouldn’t.” I know it’s kind of harsh, but is that person really saved? I think not. This devotional book stated what our goal should be well: Strive for excellence, not perfection. I know I’ll never ever, ever never be perfect, or anywhere close! However, out of my love, respect, adoration and worship of our most holy and loving God, I yearn to please Him. With a combination of His grace and love and my attempt at honoring Him, I can achieve excellence in God’s eyes. Praise Jesus for that!

Just a side note:

This has been very encouraging to me and has been my prayer recently. It’s from a song called Shine:

I’m right here before you, asking on my knees,

That my life would be something, and not just what I dreamed,

That I might find favor, and mercy and grace,

In the eyes of my savior, in the light of your face,

Lord as I offer everything, I pray that my life would make you pleased,

That I might move mountains and wake the sea,

Oh that your light would shine through me. 

 Amen.



P.S. I AM OFFICIALLY IN DC!!!

Deeper, truer meaning

Time and time again, God has worked drastically in me during the hardest times in my life. Looking back, the trials I have overcome have provided much growth. They are also, by far, some of the sweetest times in my life.


The sugar with the spoon. 


Although I have already left APU, the leaving feels far from over. As my friends from APU return to campus, it has been really hard to sit at home waiting to leave for DC. Receiving text messages saying, "I miss you - I wish I could just stop by and see you" and "I'm doing this and that - wish you were here!" is bittersweet. On one hand, my heart aches because I wish I was there too - continuing to experience college with them. On the other, it is comforting that my friends, some of whom are practically family, haven't forgotten me. 


I know that my time in DC will be an experience unlike any I could have at APU, and I am incredibly blessed to have this wonderful opportunity! It will be hard. Especially this next week or so. With the help of encouragement of others and spending time with God, I trust that He will make this hard experience something sweet. 


That brings me to  the name of my blog: Sugar and the Spoon.


Courtney Davenport - as some of you may know - recently recorded a CD. It's pretty great and has been such an encouragement to me over the past several days. One of the songs talks about thanking God for all situations. When we feel His presence and when we don't - when we are going through easy times and rough - know that in it, He is "revealing precious parts of Jesus' heart." 


Here are some of the lyrics:

"I thank you for the good and for the hard

Thank you for the sun and for the moonlight

Thank you for the chance to trust when everything looks dark

Thank you for the sugar and the spoon...

I stare into the sky with eyes of faith

Standing on the promises you've made

I rise up with the eagles as I wait upon you, God

I take refuge in the shadow of your wing."

I am deeply comforted by the knowledge that God is with me. It has brought me much peace. I am excited and a bit nervous knowing confidently God is going to send me on a wild ride in a couple days, but it's hard to sense the sweetness in life without it being delivered with something hard. Sugar and the spoon.